You know Samantha, you’re the kind of gal that gives all that she has. She has the passion; she has the heart of a soldier. She gives and gives until the world can’t possibly squeeze any more heart out of her being. She doesn’t mind though; she simply pushes on through like a massive producer of love, heroes, and leaders. Inspiring the crowds as she goes, speaking to classrooms and mini groups, personally taking in the people of the world while writing a book and reading a novel along with a spiritual reading or two…there’s not much she’ hasn’t stuck her head into. Nothing but missions make her life and there’s not a single person that doesn’t like her, except when she’s not leading them because that means that she’s not working hard enough for them.
You think that this is the way that you can live, but mark my words Samantha; the day will draw near when a new mission will come around for you and the world will not be ready for it. You’re going to be called to a mission where no other mission can follow. You will be so faithful to it that you won’t know anything else in the world. You will be so in love that there will be nothing else and nowhere else where you can go. Mark my words Samantha, love will hit you so hard that there will be no other place to go but to where your heart is finally home. That is the day that I will pay to be a part of; I want to see you so in love that the world won’t be able to stand it because of your fire. I want to see you taking the world by it’s neck and wringing the death out of it with that heart of yours, that fire of love that God gave you.
“Neither graces, nor revelations, nor raptures, nor gifts granted to a soul make it perfect, but rather the intimate union of the soul with God. These gifts are merely ornaments of the soul, but constitute neither its essence nor its perfection. My sanctity and perfection consist in the close union of my will with the will of God” (Diary of St. Faustina 1107).
(thx to Carmen Hinze for posting this on FB today. I love St. Faustina!)
This is so beautiful, I just had to post this.
I don’t know much
but I know that you’re here,
watching all that I do and loving all that I am.
I don’t know where I’m going;
all I know is that one day I will die.
I don’t know when I’ll die,
but I’d much rather it be in your arms.
Because your heart is my heart’s resting place,
your voice is where i find my own recognition.
In your arms I see myself rescued, and everything else falls short.
All I can do is wait for The One
who truly inspired me
and meanwhile love to where I’ve come
adore the life I am to live now
and dream the dream that I’m dreaming
achieve the place that I’ve reached.
and put the searching on my heart to push on, keep loving
and ultimately will make my dreams come true.
Well, it’s the first day of work!
Lemme tell ya, it’s a gorgeous day outside and it’s quite different to be working without screaming children everywhere. My little outdoor kiosk with AC and and an open window are quite comforting. Lately, I’ve been making plans for myself, looking random information up online, and hitting up emails.
Best part of my day so far: lady asked for a Catholic chapel on campus. I smiled to big, gave her a map, Mass times, info on SMOS, and told her the chapel closes in the afternoon and that she could go a pray there. Probably more than she’ll ever want to know but hey, there’s a Catholic chapel at George Mason and I am SO happy to show anyone where it is.
Future endeavors for this summer are still in the air, and it kinda makes me antsy. I need money; I need flexible people; I need dependable things…not people that want me to work full time for free. Jerks. Come on world, just work out perfectly okay? Okay.
Last night was a lovely time; I got jump in a pool wearing someone else’s clothes…of course after I got my own clothes splashed twice but hey who’s keeping track of those things. Chit-chatting over gorgeous views, going through tours of tall homes, and eating strawberry desserts; those are good times. I have fun people for friends.
And now, it is time to find a new place to be for 30 minutes. I’ve been sitting at a desk for a few hours, and it’s high time for a break. G.K. Chesterton has been ignored for quite some time, so I guess I should start reading.
Twelve hours from now and I will be sitting in a room full of other STAT 250 students. Fourteen hours from now I will hopefully baking a cake for my friend Mike’s birthday.
Unfortunately, the time is now and I need to study for this final. The motivation I feel right now is minimal, so minimal. Summer just come already I’m ready for something new.
Apparently my little brothers are cool like me and making beach plans. Hopefully it’ll work out for them, because any beach time is a good time.
Something needs to motivate me. My room’s already relatively clean. My dinner has already been eaten. Thank you notes to 16 people have already been written and delivered. Even my twitter account has been updated, which normally doesn’t get attention until a big exam comes up. I don’t think I can easily procrastinate any more.
Okay, time for discipline.
Motivation: I get to turn my Facebook back on? I don’t know if I really care about it anymore.
Okay, real discipline. Bye-byeblog.
This gorgeous city and blue skies.
Cute kids with Spanish names who sing like angels.
Havana, my grandparent’s former home.
Swing sets and fun friends.
Catholic Churches in danger of bats and their poisonous pee.
Laughter and jokes with cool cats.
Catholic Churches with no floors and many cute kiddies.
Finding art in a random city street.
Life —> very much on the bright side….other than schoolwork.
As I sit here in Panera and relish my overpriced bagel with cream cheese, I type away while I “figure things out.” This is what I didn’t go to Illinois for, so I may as well make it good.
This week has been a week of unpacking, laundry, cleaning, showing family the pictures, waiting on Cubans to email me back and tell me that they love me and miss too, my first American Mass at the Basilica, healing my “scar of communism” which I am very proud to display, calling disciples and discipler, forgetting everything and chatting until 5AM, chilling with the bible study, and of course, movie night with cool peeps. Now, I take this Friday morning in to journal my time spent away. It’s been a long week and one day, with no spare chance to journal my thoughts and things.
I need time to “figure things out:” to smile, giggle, groan, long, dream, pray, and repeat 2x. God, thank you for spring break. Mass is in about 2 hours, and I will most definitely be attending. I guess I need to put things in their proper places of my heart, otherwise I’ll turn into the Cubans in Miami: passionate winds with the circular direction of a hurricane. I’d much rather be a steady train, simple and unequaled in strength by many.
I’m so happy to be home with showers, loved ones, water that doesn’t poison foreigners, and bathrooms with toilet paper, but it took some tearing to get me into the airport. Speaking English is already becoming not-awkward to me, but I do miss the romantic sounds of Spanish.
Last night as I was driving home alone I spoke to myself in Spanish; I don’t even want to know how long I did that again in my bed before I fell asleep. I think that’s kind of weird. Normal people probably don’t do that, but I live in an English-speaking household. People get desperate sometimes.
Back to the journal!
I must bid you good-bye before I leave!! Today’s my last full day in Virginia so I want to relish it with lovely letters. I even wrote my bible study a letter to be read when they all get together Wednesday with Ruthie. Aren’t I sweet?
The past few days have been filled with little sleep, lots of homework, and a lovely cold that’s lingering longer than the little buddy should ever be alive for. I’m slowly torturing him with Vitamin C and meds.
My mom woke me up at 5 so that I could study for my exam this morning, so I take this mini break before I return to calculating mortality, incidence, prevalence, and other silly death/health-related things.
You’re always in my thoughts and prayers anyways, but I shall take you with me to Cuba through the blueorangebeige bracelet!!!! Mwah, mucho love.
The sky is starting to look kinda blue in the darkness, my goal is to get pretty good in studying by sunlight.
Until we skype/blog again!!!!